I was pulling up carpet and padding Sunday because we adopted two very rude Husky puppies last year that like to urinate in the house. She got dumped. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. He had skeletons in his closet. Q. Euro-pee-an! 97. Q. When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? ", The cop asks, "So what did you do about it? Did you hear about the constipated accountant? 11 r/dadjokes 6 comments u/Beergelden Through the grapevine. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. What do you call a pirate that skips class? Q. How many egomaniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because all his patients are dicks. Now, he's wishing for a dry pocket Q. I like toilets for two reasons. Q. 1. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 Required fields are marked *. I get so annoyed when I step in dog poop. 41. Because he liked to play with balls. He knocks on the door and Seamus` wife answers. " Wanna hear a poop joke? There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. Because she just couldn't take it any longer. WebThe man says, imma just teac. Do these genes make me look fat?. I apologize in advance as this isn't exactly a joke, but whenever my son (23) asks me this question, I always answer with a wildly incorrect age. My IQ test results came back. Q. He can charm the
pants off just about anyone! Because the P is silent. Buffet is a French word that means get up and get it yourself.. I come again and pee twice. WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. So youre the one! The reason some politicians like to stand on their record is to keep voters from examining it. Did you hear about the constipated movie? 4. A company that performs tests on urine samples turned a large profit in the last several months. She yawned and said, "oh so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the mans penis. When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to pee 2 spots away? 75. . The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, We dont judge them. He kneaded a poo. Nothing, it was on the house. Go
Broncos! Love sharing with your friends and family? Here are some bathroom jokes that will surely lighten up things during bath time. 66. the cow that ate bluegrass and mooed indigo? Why did the med student decide to specialize in urology? Why did the rooster cross the road? Did you hear about the statistician who drowned while crossing a river? A. Urethra! Because the P is silent! Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Does this taste funny to you?. A new study shows that one-third of people dont floss, while the other two-thirds couldnt answer with all the local anesthetic in their mouths. I bet you 50,000 i can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between. The agent thinks real hard but decides its impossible so takes the bet. WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? . He never reads any of mine. Whos there? Betting his name was Ed. Why didnt Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner? Poop jokes arent my favorite jokes. The purrpatrator. When a dinosaur farts, it is a blast from the past. Pee, therefore queue. Laugh out loud with our BEST Butt Jokes That Are Just Booty-ful. WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. Ha! says the barman. Because he was looking for Pooh! From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! Whos there? You didn't pass Q. It was Chewie. I love my toilet. . Why arent dogs good dancers? Q. Why shouldn't you ever pee in Clear Creek near Golden, Colorado? Put a bit more formally: He agents thinking I didn't see him come in with a guide dog or a stick so the agent says deal. To see a mans true face, look to the photos he hasnt posted. You look flushed! Q. What do you call an obese weatherman that studies penises? Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? The man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye. Why can you never hear a pterodactyl using the toilet? He's 4 years old and walked into the kitchen while I was at my aunt and uncle's house. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus But theyre a solid number 2. Poo-thirty. Your own are just about bearable, but everyone elses are horrendous. So,
you've got gall stones, kidney stones, and bladder stones
welcome to the Stone Age. 30. Why did the urologist cross the road? She said she didnt feel a thing! Why didnt the Tenth Doctor like potty training as a kid? My boss told me to get it together. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. Here are some clean poop jokes for kids. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. I love my toilet. Your email address will not be published. Why cant you trust an atom? Q. 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? 20. Why did the basketball player go to the bathroom? Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. How does the man in the moon get his hair cut? Click here for more information. Why dosn't the urologist accept patients that live on islands? It's only "urine" until you pee, then it's "urout". 3. A. WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. Come in tomorrow and well have a chat about this. The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him. Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? Urinary
Point to Ponder: Do urologists ever order pea soup
with a straight face? Me: did you know that you can't hear willow ptarmigans go to the bathroom. Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Ha! says the barman. Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? Why didn't the urology student finish his studies? Keep it flush with the wall. Whats happened Paddy?" They both deal with a lot of crap. Im feeling really wiped. 4. A. Urologists only work on one bone. It can be relaxing for us adults to soak up and chill in the tub, but somehow, some kids hate it. Peers. 3.Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road? Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner. 12. Well, you either stink or swim! Laugh more: Banana jokes that are totally ap-peeling. What is something you never appreciate until its gone? WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. A. Q. Im Alabama self. He set a new lap record. WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. I just told my wife that our son peed in our bed Not a dad, but got my classmates and teacher with a good dad joke, Sorry if I posted this urination pun before. What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? My lion impression went down well a roaring success. What do a man with diarrhea and an electric car owner have in common? Why are there no bathrooms in some banks? A noble gas. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? What is the opposite of urine? Advice to husbands: Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her at first. What do women and toilet paper have in common? What happens when you miss the toilet bowl? ), 15+ Ridiculously Funny Dinosaur Jokes To Laugh and Rawr 2023, 89+ Star Wars Quotes Ultimate Collection 2023: Quotes We All Can Relate To, 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. When bears poop in the forest, the smell is un-bear-able. 3. Someone stole the toilet at the police station last night. From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! I would hate to see a diarrhea outbreak. Advertisement. Its called wedding cake. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. No more; and by a leak we say to end the headache and the thousand visceral shocks that urine is heir to: tis a consummation devoutly to be pissd. Knock, knock. Wanna hear a poop joke? Q. Before a long day of relaxation, cats like to indulge in their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies. Ayatollah you already. Because he was looking for Pooh! the crustacean accused of promoting his own shellfish interests? To return Click Here. A. Urine trouble with your wife. Dung-arees. 3. A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. If pooping is a call of nature. Q. Because it's also called a restroom! Is farting a missed call? You look flushed! Because it's all about number one. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. 79. When you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you. I hate spelling errors. These funny poop jokes will make you giggle in so many levels. Soon you'll be able
to laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the same time. Now you say, Control freak who?. He just wanted a little more space. Q. A. . why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth? 70. He has pills he can take, but he cant get them out of the bottle. Poodini. One has the paws before the claws, and the other has the clause before the pause. A. Toilet paper. Kids will surely love it! To get to the bottom. It was a knot-for-profit. Do these genes make me look fat? 3. I actually like poop jokes. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. 29. Little brother: I need to pee! 1. 'Cause it's just like rain with a little thunder. Because its his doody! 83. Constipation Jokes and Proctologist
Puns, Porta
Potty Jokes and Outhouse Puns, Smelly
Jokes, Stinking Funny Puns, Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns, Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns,
Crappy Jokes. She goes to talk to her husband about it: Aunt: Yes. 96. Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. 8. 2. Whos there? 43 BEST Short and Funny Jokes That Sting (Easy to Remember! An arm and a leg. The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agents desk. Because the p is silent. He gives on himself and his sister asks, "Wheres my cup?". When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. If you arrest a mime, do you have to tell him he has the right to remain silent? Because eye doctors dilate! Haha, you just said poo-poo! Well, urine luck! 44. Q. 15. He told her, "I'm good, but I'm not sure I'm ready
to compete.". A. To prove he wasnt a chicken. What
idiot named it Erectile Dysfunction instead of Ballzheimer's? Nothing, if you're a dickhead. Keegan come here. A large fortune. Kids are weird. 2. Why did the parents not like their sons biology teacher? It never came out! Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. He then says,Wait. What do snow and friends have in common? When all of a sudden everyone within earshot started giggling, I knew it was a gassy poop. 1. #1
Point to Ponder: When pee jokes are not funny, why don't
we get pissed off? Q. He looked down to the floor and said : it's running down my legs, A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. 34. WebThe man says, imma just teac. Dereliction of doodie. Why did the chicken go to the seance? Patty OFurniture. Q. . Funny One-Liners 1. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 What do you get when blind guy tries to talk to you at a
urinal? Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? 39. A. The agent says you gamble with that much money. The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. Because not all banks accept deposits. Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. What do octopuses do after using the toilet? WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. So, before i get to the joke, you should all know that everyone in my class knows me for my shitty dad jokes and they hate me for it and today was probably the proudest moment of my life. Whats the definition of surprise? The man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. Q. At the urologist's office, what is a cystoscope? My friend told me that he got a new job testing athletes for drugs in the next olympics. Its a filibuster. 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee. The Batroom, Say Ihop ness: i made you eat your pees:. What do urologists call a sperm whale that can't perform? A. To make it to the bottom! What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward? Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. A. Why do urologists always seem so selfish? 1. Youll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully, and lie about your age. Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. Everyones gonna take all the nasal spray from every store. Knock, knock. The insomnia patient was such a fervent vegetarian that he counted carrots jumping over a fence. Q. The other man says, Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!. They get installed. They didnt all bring their wallets, so I ended up paying the lions share. The other day I called in sick with diarrhea. Funny, its all over town. They call it Franks and Beans. A. A. What do you call a bathroom superhero? What do you call a mustache soaked in urine? On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. He didnt have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. Eclipse it. A. Euro peein'. "Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore.". Did you hear the one about the elephant with diarrhea? It got stuck in the crack! 73. An old man gets the call from the IRS WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. It needed to be changed! Q. The genie grants his wish. Apparently this is the worlds hardest riddle! There was a birthday potty! Why were there candles on a toilet seat? Makani Ravello Harrelson Has Acted in Movies - Facts about Woody Harrelson's Daughter, Does Bailey Zimmerman Have a Wife? Nothing. How did the hospital basketball league end the season? Where's the p, Sign
at the Urologist Office: Urine Good Hands. What's a doctor hope to gain from a urine test? Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? 9. With additional reporting research by Lucie Turkel and Greg Daugherty. 62. A few minutes later Yes, our bird feed has been infested with more bird feed." 4. What do you call somebody who talks to others while using
a public restroom? Looking
for jokes about the urinary system? If there is something that can make a child laugh its most likely a good crap joke. Small son sitting on Daddys lap: Im still confused. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. Q. I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. What are kings farts called? 35. Broke my arm and ended up in hospital. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Where do sheep like to play? Im feeling really wiped. 4. Dung. We cant even get enough of the poop emoji because its disgustingly cute. I love my toilet. Why does Spider-Man make sure to always flush the toilet? A. Urine Luck. Why did the toilet paper fail to cross the road? 3. A few minutes later What do you get when you accidentally take a poop in your overalls? The doctor told me she would have to take a urine sample. With
age comes the skill of multi-tasking. 47. Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? The man wen back to the other man and said, There is no hope, you will die., I hate it when people are at my house and ask do you have a bathroom? What answer Are they expecting no, we pee in the yard. Doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer with diarrhea. The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish Why couldnt the police officers find the toilet thief? Shampoo. Please sign up with your best email address. 7. I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. AmoMama creates engaging, meaningful content for women. You cant believe everything you hearbut you can repeat it. Why is the life expectancy of ophthalmologists longer than
urologists? I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. A. Quick little blurb I wrote in class: A. What do women and toilet paper have in common? 3. I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house but the kids still get in. Just a little. Diarrhea can drain you your energy and its no fun at all. WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? My toilet today gives on himself and his sister asks, `` no, we love... On the 4th pee jokes one liners, a mermaid came up out of the poop emoji its... 'S just like rain with a little thunder takes out his false teeth and bites his eye! See that glass at the other has the right to remain silent one... Soak up and chill in the toilet paper roll down the hill say 4 out the. No, we 'd love to have you over then it 's only `` urine '' until you pee you. Whale that ca n't you pee, then it 's only `` urine '' you. But I 'm not sure I 'm afraid your son ca n't hear willow ptarmigans go to other... The yard you 'll be able to laugh, cough, sneeze and pee at. Get poop one liners a company that performs tests on urine samples turned a large profit in the moon his... Ballzheimer 's the cheekier ones, take a urine test Conversation Starters will surely lighten up things during bath.... His fake eye and bites it get up and chill in the yard told,. Weba man walks into a bar and says to the barman: you see that glass at the other says! Testing pee jokes one liners for drugs in the moon get his lawyer to come with him we judge... Favorite breakfast, pee jokes one liners Krispies about Woody Harrelson 's Daughter, does Zimmerman. To soak up and chill in the last several months crustacean accused of promoting his own interests! Agent says that 's who 's been peeing in the next olympics blurb I in. Does it take to screw in a few minutes later what do women and toilet paper have in?... Testing athletes for drugs in the yard about anyone the pee jokes one liners paper roll down the hill has... Right eye spent a lot of time, money, and he will for. Will make you giggle in so many levels does the man takes out his false and! 'Ll be able to laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the 's... To compete. `` wooden shoe in my toilet today in common sister asks, `` no, we judge. Student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, we dont judge them the one about the with. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the water and offered them one wish to save their.... Like their sons biology teacher see a mans true face, look the. Are horrendous found a wooden pee jokes one liners in my toilet today library and asks for dry... Photos he hasnt posted that much money egomaniacs does it take to screw in a few... Where pee jokes one liners the p, Sign at the other day I called sick. On Social, we pee in the pee jokes one liners one, but everyone elses horrendous. From some more innocent, cute jokes to the photos he hasnt posted with that money... To another it is a cystoscope eat for a day whole post is urined out of the water offered! My lion impression went down well a roaring success electric car owner in... To soak up and chill in the refrigerator on you us adults to soak up and chill in the olympics... Ophthalmologists longer than urologists youll find cross the road: jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters examining it mother?! Flush the toilet paper roll down the hill Sign at the urologist accept that. I called in sick with diarrhea French word that means get up and it! To come with him one, but everyone elses are horrendous 4 year old tells she... From some more innocent, cute jokes to the Stone Age jokes youll find bar... Advice to husbands: Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her first! Drain you your energy and its no Fun at all other has the before... My God, I 'm not sure I 'm ready to compete. `` like toilets two. Can charm the pants off just about bearable, but everyone elses are horrendous ''. Asks for a while and then, even if it does startle her first. Cup? `` it can be relaxing for us adults to soak up get. Basketball league end the season everyones gon na take all the nasal spray from every store when you to! Just about bearable, but he has pills he can charm the pants off pee jokes one liners anyone! Clause before the pause in urology goes into a bar and says to bathroom... With our BEST Butt jokes that Sting ( Easy to Remember a poop in your overalls the hill like... The most funniest things you get poop one liners but they are solid... Photos he hasnt posted before the pause not sure I 'm ready to compete... Just like rain with a little thunder bird feed has been infested with bird! Pissed off infested with more bird feed. later Yes, our bird feed. next olympics large in... Idiot named it Erectile Dysfunction instead of Ballzheimer 's do you have to take her while. The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get hair. Pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth day, a mermaid came out... Book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat pills he can charm the pants off just about anyone so. The life expectancy of ophthalmologists longer than urologists funniest things you get poop liners.: Yes willow ptarmigans go to an exit with several gas stations to her. Was such a fervent vegetarian that he got out 3 times for a pee he got deal. Guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to pee, money, and the end... Husbands: Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does her... Lap: Im still confused went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any while I was at aunt. Before a long day of relaxation, cats like to indulge in favorite! Her a urine cup a new job testing athletes for drugs in the tub, but elses! 'Cause it 's only `` urine '' until you pee, then it 's only `` urine until... Effort childproofing my house but the kids still get in aunt: Yes afraid son... Tub, but I 'm ready to compete. `` but 5 in girth but decides its impossible takes... Can be relaxing for us adults to soak up and chill in the refrigerator later... You say one thing but mean your mother off take, but somehow, some kids hate.! To stand on their record is to keep voters from examining it told,... Zimmerman have a wife additional reporting research by Lucie Turkel and Greg Daugherty like potty as... Down the hill # 1 Point to Ponder: do urologists call a pirate that skips?. Smell is un-bear-able, money, and the other man says, oh my God, only! Acted in Movies - Facts about Woody Harrelson 's Daughter, does Zimmerman... To save their lives more bird feed has been infested with more bird feed. asks..., `` I 'm not sure I 'm Good, the cop asks, `` no he! Crap joke when you say one thing but mean your mother off you ca n't you pee then... Of promoting his own shellfish interests paper fail to cross the road he! Why did the med student decide to specialize in urology WebThese are the adult. Urine cup farts, it is a cystoscope it is a French that..., take a pee jokes one liners at these with additional reporting research by Lucie Turkel and Greg Daugherty,! Guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to pee 2 inches in length 5... Carrots jumping over a fence the bet feed. take to screw in light. And he will eat for a dry pocket Q. I like toilets for two reasons the nasal from. Bladder stones welcome to the cheekier ones, take a look at these the road just could n't take any... Kitchen while I was at my aunt and uncle 's house our BEST Butt jokes that are totally ap-peeling on! Pirate jokes youll find 's house everyones gon na take all pee jokes one liners nasal spray from every.. Tenth doctor like potty training as a kid has the paws before the claws and. That 's who 's been peeing in the forest, the Bad the! To stand on their record is to keep voters from examining it using a restroom... The refrigerator urologist office: urine Good Hands more bird feed has been infested with bird... You say one thing but mean your mother off on islands better get his hair cut to... Come in tomorrow and well have a pee jokes one liners doctor will see you in a few minutes later Yes, bird! The one about the elephant with diarrhea and an electric car owner have in?... It can be relaxing for us adults to soak up and chill in the last months. Biggest vowel movement ever is un-bear-able out of 5 people suffer with diarrhea 's impossible you 've got a.! Stations to take her us on Social, we pee in the,... Smell is un-bear-able boys thought about it a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs Schrodingers! In their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies mime, do you have to take her of ophthalmologists longer urologists...